I never know what to do when I'm home alone. Do I play video games, or do I light candles and have a romantic evening with my right hand?
There's NO need to miss your past, THERE'S A GOOD REASON IT DIDN'T MAKE IT INTO YOUR FUTURE
I'm never content with what I do. I live in a sort of permanent dissatisfaction. I think that's the secret to doing things well.
Well well well, my dog is licking his balls in front of me!!! I guess he's is doing to make me jelous cause I can't do it....
IT'S - contraction of "it is." ITS - possessive form of "it." ITS' - the most horrible thing you could ever possibly do.
This is the first time in my life that I've ever been snowed in, in nyc. Cool beans.
I wonder if rectangles ever look at Matt Damon's head and feel pride that one of their own made it big.
I don't mind getting the stink-eye when I say, "Happy Whatever Holiday You're Weirdly Touchy About," because THAT is the spirit of Whatever.
Typing in all capital letters is perceived to be shouting, so only do it when addressing foreigners or the elderly.
only 60,000 more followers till i tweet a pic of danny in a thong washing my car
If you want to rise up,, let go of everything and everybody thats holding you down! -(Daily Love)
Best tweet of all time: @wubbolicious got so drunk celebrating b4 @ladygaga 's concert in SF i blacked out and missed the whole thing! :(
I want to move somewhere where Ed Hardy doesn't exist. That's a world I'd like to live in
The murder rate went down ten percent in the first half of 2009. It's as if the entire city of Detroit has just given up.
"You can't contract AIDS from a mosquito." "What if you have anal sex with it?" She was unprepared for my question. Who trains these people?
Prayer are ALWAYS answered,, its just sometimes the answer is NO
hahaha the jets lost @scooterbraun. everyone laugh at him
Download "One Time- My Heart Edition" on iTunes http://lnk.ms/4z2cv
For $11, you can come to my house and watch me shave. The plot is a little weak, but the 3D effects are amazing.
@petewentz I love that the stewardess thought we were a gay couple b/c I was cleaning the blood off yr face. Hope the stitches hold up
Faith +Hard work + ambition is ur TRUE PRAYER.... Whining +begging + complaining is ur LAZY LOWER SELF
Playing scrabble and the only word I could play was idol. These people will never let me play with them again.
Relationships & bonds will not break easily if you make them elastic. (ladies & gentlemen be flexible)
thank u Tulsa, now off to Detriot...anyone see the show on TNT last night? Didn't know what 2 do with my hands. Haha
Be kind:: For everybody you meet is fighting a hard battle
When I drive in snow, I like pretending my car's a big snowmobile.
Now my snowmobile's stuck in a snowbank, blocking the other snowmobiles.
Having the right word is much more satisfying than just sleeping around with any old word that comes along.
The "One Time- My Heart Unplugged Edition" is available for download on iTunes NOW!! http://lnk.ms/4z2cv
My dog has a limp; he looks gangster but I should probably be a responsible dog owner and take him to the vet. Ice is a problem child.
Don't worry about HOW it will happen, walk knowing IT WILL. U aren't shown the whole journey, just your next step!
@dougiemcfly dude don't tell them about that pleeeeese
Watch right now "Christmas in Washington" on TNT. watch me and @usherraymondiv perform 4 President Obama. I was Nervous!!
Dul... es nuestro dia @dmoficial! quieres ir a cenar?
I'll be back in Toronto for Live @ MuchMusic tomorrow at 8pm EST. Just In Time for Christmas Canada!
"A man is not old until regrets take the place of his dreams." ~Proverb
The most priceless & valuable antiques on earth are old friends..
9 Great Document Collaboration Tools for Teams - http://bit.ly/5xVFBq
Quote of the Moment: In three words, I can sum up everything I know about life: it goes on. - Robert Frost
Regarding the quiet ones. They listen hard, they don't forget a thing, and they like that you're talking all the time.
expert - 1. A person knowledgeable and well-known in a relevant field. 2. The first person you could get to call you back.
After years of suggesting "Doctor" as his choice of reindeer game, it came as no surprise to the others when Prancer announced he was gay.
10 Must-Read eBooks for Social Media Lovers - http://bit.ly/7mP4qa
Brittany Murphy... U were Bold, Brave, and Beautiful. Thank you 4 being the free spirit u were, and always putting a smile on my face.
My daughter: "Why doesn't the alarm go off when Santa goes down the chimney?" Me: "Magic." My daughter: "Bullshit."
She's open waiting for more and I know he's only looking to score
