favotter
tenacious d.'s favored(89529)bio: Just another cute and sexy genius.
Twitter: Where the voices in your head actually have usernames.
No, I don't exercise. I'm in the Fitness Protection Program.
I love you.
**Offer subject to change at any time without notice. Terms and conditions may apply. Void where prohibited. Limited time only.
I would be grateful for the little things, but I'm not with that boyfriend anymore.
"Because you're a dumbass" is almost never the answer you should give, but it's almost always the correct one, even when you ask yourself.
I had this really kinky boyfriend once; finally I just had to tell him it was time we started peeing on other people.
'Passive-aggressive' is just a way of saying you not only want to behave like an asshole, but you also want credit for being a saint.
I wouldn't shop today if they were selling magic penises that came coffee and peed rainbows. I would probably try to order it online though.
It's not that you're not good with confrontation: you're not good with honesty.
Statistics show that using the phrase "I'm just keepin' it real" is a more effective method of birth control than the Pill.
While swine flu, or H1N1, gets all the attention, cooties sit back and quietly plot their comeback.
Psssst. I know where you can get stars. Shh. Black market. From a guy.
Damn. Waterproof mascara is harder to get off than your mom.
Work? It was alright. I'm pretty sure I got all the blood out of my stapler.
Sometimes love is not enough. Bring cookies just in case.
I just rapid-fire sneezed 7 times in a row. An orgasm may or may not have occurred. From the tissues it's difficult to tell.
On her tombstone, it simply read "she went to Wal-Mart for just a couple things"
I am either awake or this is the most boring dream ever.
It's a good thing I'm such a nerd or my awesomeness would be overwhelming.
